Control

I have lost it today. I can't think straight and I feel so angry and so hurt. I feel like my mother is reaching from beyond the grave and this really angers me. My son called and said he is diabetic. Damn'it! I told him he can control this.........My brother is 48 years old and will be 49 in December and he is experiencing renal failure...and dialysis is inevitable I want to fix this I want it to be me and not them!!!! Please let it be me instead.....