What if?

I have several email accounts at least six that I can think of at the top of my head and sometimes I forget to check them all. I get some questions and comments that I ignore when it comes to the striking of a nerve. We have all had a nerve struck before and sometimes our response isn't what it should be because we don't think it through as we should.
When I was ranting and raving about my break up on FB I was asked a question by email that I avoided answering mainly because I would have to expose a little more about what happened that night and I do not want to appear like I am blaming anyone else for my mistakes. Here goes in a nutshell Yvette, just for you. My former partner knew that I was in a loving relationship and was jealous and angry because I was talking about love and marriage. Out of spite, anger and frustration my former partner decided to seek revenge by getting me in deeper trouble than I had already put myself into when I was witholding information about our continous communication. I was afraid to cause pain, humiliation and hurt so therefore I pretended to still be interested in having a relationship. The night of February 4th I was devastated, angry and remorseful. We had a confrentation and I was laughed at and ridiculed for getting caught in this web of deceit. Acknowledging that the messages sent to me which were verbal, email and text were fictatious. Not all of them were because we did meet on occassion to bead or for dinner with usually a third party involved, mutual friend or even her mother. I was told that I was receiving all these messages (phone, text and email) because there was suspicion that all my messages were being read especially once she learned that I had shared my pw's with my BF; which is something I did because I didn't feel I had anything to hide and because my heart belonged to him and the rest didn't matter. On my knees I was laughed at and mocked and told if it had been real love you wouldn't be here right now. He believed me over you and he will never know what is true and what is false are the words that still echo in my mind. It's true he will never know. I was deceitful and I will pay for the rest of my life. What if I had not been deceitful? BTW, since you all know I never use names I have this time because it was requested. The person who knows that what I am saying is true is Yvette who is the current GF of my former partner and was also there at the time all of these events took place. Oh well, nemodo.....