Case Sensitive

What a fabulous weekend!
I did have to work half a day on Saturday and then went to check on my store in Startzville which I am happy to report is doing great. I am selling jewelry and antiques. The antiques are items I have purchased in the past. I believe my rat packing days are finally over as I am parting ways with most of my things.

I am at work for two days then leaving for New Mexico on Wednesday and will return Sunday. I am driving up there and I am really looking forward to this trip. I am attending the 9th Annual National Latino Writer's Conference. This is the first time I am attending this event and the first time I am actually participating as a writer and not a presenter. Due to the negative turn of events and my reluctance to write last year I am hoping this conference will restart my engine so that I quit walking backwards in crap. The focus of this conference is a workshop called "Writing for Faith and Healing". I need this more than ever and the fact it is happening in Albuquerque, New Mexico is perfect for me. The conference is at the National Hispanic Cultural Center and I will be staying at the Nativo Lodge so if you are in the area you know where to find me.

Saturday evening I was taken out to dinner then went to the local tavern and I danced my butt off until closing. I had such a wonderful evening. I slept late on Sunday morning then went and had breakfast with friends. After breakfast we went riding on River Road into New Braunfels and went and purchased our fishing license then came back and packed up the truck and went fishing at Canyon Lake. We went home before dark although we could have easily fished all night long had it not been for work. It was a wonderful happening.

I am sharing this information with you because of the feeling I was overcome with this weekend. Then I heard something that just confirmed what I was feeling. Boredom and loneliness is a state of mind. It's all in your head! I am including depression in this category as well. Some people can be so manipulative and if you are around negativity it is highly contagious. Depression is used to manipulate situations and circumstances. I refuse to allow anyone to that to me again. Survivors of abuse tend to fall into this control issue easily. Control is the first thing an abuser does as he attacks his or her prey. It was easy for me to feel guilty as if I had done something wrong when the person I was with would show signs of depression. I was manipulated into feeling guilty about nothing. My depression was severe to the extreme of suicide and not one time did I try and bring someone down with me. I'm not saying I had a good depression or I was better at it I just hid within myself. I wasn't looking for people to feel sorry for me I just avoided everything and everybody which includes my writing. So now I feel I am coming back to life. I am being weaned off my medication and I am having feelings again. There is no such thing as not caring or feeling unemotional and anyone who claims to do so are manipulators, liars and/or cheaters. Do not allow yourself to be victimized again. It's not worth it.