Respect

I have never wanted to feel like I have in the past as a victim of abuse.
Like those days of being called pendeja, stupid and then be expected to be the loving, caring wife I was "supposed" to be. For months I felt I had been a fool for believing that somehow, somewhere I was important or had been important at some point in a relationship. An apology finally came thus confirming the previous sentence is false. Someone contacting you from the past using the same filth of contact information as is used for pornographic contact or other demeaning behavior is so disrespectful. Wanting to feel more important because of the love that was imagined to exist is obviously one sided and an illusion. Such principal does not exist among abusers. Certainly I am not naive or stupid regardless of the disrespect that has been bestowed on me by the soul without the mate although I am at least two steps ahead. I do not deny the existence of love instead I am constantly setting off reminders and expecting nothing in return. Of course the reaction of the abuser is cold and uncaring. The reaction of the victim is painful and hurt and scarred for life. The reaction of the survivor is apparent due to the suspicious mind created by abusers. The survivor shakes herself off and wipes the crap off her heels on the abusers memory leaving him/her standing blindly in the path of headlights.