It changes on a day to day basis. I mean my level of survival. If I don't think about those things that bring me down I am OK.
I am avoiding my past by engaging myself in the present. Don't bother asking me what I am doing tomorrow because I don't plan that far ahead. Once in awhile I get a boost of energy (spiritual) and I start flapping my wings and suddenly someone catches my wing with their bow and arrow and try to bring me down. I must take control once more so I can take charge of my life or just place metal armor on my wings. I didn't know a marriage certificate that is live and breathing is essential in this new world. As one door shuts I pry open a window or break down the door. Never say never is not an option it is mandatory. It doesn't mean I'm listening it just means that what you see is what you get, with or without the legal or binding documentation of broken promises. My past is my armor and I choose to be who and what I am today.
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