Defense

It is a defense mechanism that often snaps back when I am in protective mode which seems to be on all the time.
No regrets keep me sane. I don't need or want excuses which is a rule I will abide by. I know my weakness and admit my mistakes however painful it might be. Whatever the intention might be doesn't matter. My strength boils within me and is becoming stronger rapidly. It has been a year since I crashed and burned only to begin my life all over again. Anxiety prevails when I think back to that night. As survivors of abuse we tend to abuse ourselves when there in nobody else there to do it for us. Now we must survive our self inflicted wounds. Most of all we need to learn to love ourselves. I am starting to look in the mirror again and I do not like what looks back at me. I have a choice; to look away or make a change. Change is coming.