Whispers

They come and go; voices from the past. Reminding us of places that make us sad, happy, angry or hurt. Several times I have mentioned how certain smells, sounds or even movements will take me back in an instant. Last weekend I was startled due to angry voices and fast movements making me want to raise my arm up to protect my face as I did in the past. I wasn't involved yet I still reacted to it and I was rushed out of the situation. It still impacted me for a few days, obviously. My normal reaction is to shut down and not let anyone in which did occur. They are vibrations from the past that continue to exist within us. The vibrations become tremors and other times those tremors become earthquakes. Yet there are welcome vibrations like my daughters laugh or my sons laughter that will submerge me in warmth and tenderness immediately. I can hear them from another room and smile as a result. The sound of the breeze passing thru the leaves is refreshing because each is so unique. Pine trees whistle when the wind blows through them and palm leaves applaud while pecan leaves and oak leaves dance like paino keys yet sound like rain. Rain drops tap dancing on the water is one of my favorite sounds aside from my children. If you know me you know my relationship with rain is beyond this mortal world as is my relationship with the ocean. Desire expressed in words of familiarity as it used to be is also so refreshing like the cool breeze of the hill country and the sounds of familiar footsteps on the boardwalk leading into the Fishing Cabin.

Something in the Air

Not sure what it is I just know I am not here. My mind is preoccupied with thin lines.

Day of the Dead

The people who have died at the hands of their abuser are honored this day. Yes we remember loved ones because they are a part of us yet we forget about the silent witness because it doesn't involve us and it didn't make the news.

Decisions

It is amazing what happens when you make a decision that you have been playing with for awhile then suddenly it happens and the feeling just feels so right. I am selling my house in San Antonio and I am looking forward to it. It feels great.

Conversations

Last night I had an interesting conversation with my wonderful friend. She and I are both standing at the edge of the cliff with one foot slightly off still asking why. I had a very difficult time sleeping last night, had I known it was raining during the night it would have been comforting. I tossed and turned for a long time and finally I lay my head on the arm of peace, love and poetry and fell asleep saying to myself it was a great place to be even if death consumed me, especially if it did. Such simple thoughts felt across the hills as if the earth shook. When I awoke this morning I heard the thunder roll and let the gods take my picture as the lightning flashed through my window. Those shy devils.

New Mexico Sky

This mornings sky made me think of New Mexico. The sky over Sandia Peak covered it like an umbrella with it's purple and pink hues. Kaleidescope window of love reflected from the glass bottle containing true, raw, uninhibited love which will never again exist in this lifetime.

I'm Sorry

The weight of these words is amazing. I have learned recently how powerful those words are when you hear the sincerity of them. I have heard these words three times in my lifetime, no, make that twice.